Episode 12: Girls, Girls, Girls!

So, everyone who knows me knows that I am a pretty girly girl. I love shopping, I luurve pink, and have a (fairly) extensive collection of shoes. So it may be no surprise that when I was pregnant I was hoping to have a girl. Somehow I sort of knew it would be a boy even before we got the ultrasound. Partly because of our strange family history with firstborn genders, but also some sort of weird feeling.

When I first found out that Billy was a boy, I was pretty disappointed. Now I know as a mother, I should just be grateful that he was healthy. And for the most part, I was happy that there were no defects we could detect at that point, but a part of me grieved a bit for the girl I wasn't going to have. Mostly, I think I grieved for myself and the fact that, with a son, I would be unable to (or at least made a social pariah if I did) buy any of the adorable pink items available for babies. No pink stroller, no pink high chair, pack-n-play, nursery, diaper bag, no adorable dresses and ruffly diaper covers. Not to mention the shoes!! And even now, I miss not being able to buy the cute, pink, frilly dresses available for girls.

It also seems that there are far more options for girls clothes than for boys. There are aisles and aisles of girls' clothes in Babies 'R' Us, or even Target, with only one or two aisles of boys' clothes. Not to mention the fact that I am, generally speaking, not a big fan of clothes that say things. I don't like baby or kid clothes that say "I'm the Boss!" or "MVP" or even the girl versions "Here Comes Trouble" and "I'm the Cutest!" I don't like the idea that people are characterizing their children as troublemakers before their attitudes even become apparent. I also hate the idea that the parents all kowtow to their children forever, I wasn't the boss when I was a kid, and I certainly don't intend for my children to wield unquestioned power in our household. And the girls versions over-emphasize cuteness, starting a lifelong complex that a girl's most important asset is her looks. Also, I still don't quite understand why all of the clothes are Daddy/Daughter or Mommy/Son themed. Can't fathers love their sons? Can't mothers love their daughters? What about little girls whose mothers are single parents? Can't those girls be Mommy's Little Princess?

It also seems as though there are lots more options for girls' clothes that do not have these sayings on them. Lots of girls tops and dresses are just colors, or patterns. It's harder to find boys' clothes like that. For example, if you go to the Carter's website, and click on "Tops" under girls' clothes, there is a category right on the first page for "fashion tops." Boys do have a "polo & shirt" category, but 4 of the 6 polo shirts say something on them, and all of the shirts are plaid. What, is my son 65 already? This problem is what has started my love affair with Old Navy for boys' clothes. ON has tons of baby and toddler boys' clothes that look like adult clothes, just tiny!

But, today, I was reminded of why I should be glad that my first child is a boy. On the Today Show this morning, was a story about a French company that has started selling "loungerie" - lingerie for girls aged 4-12!! (You can see the story here) I was amazed at the photos that were taken to advertise the products. They are truly inappropriate. I can understand that for a girl closer to 12, she may be developing, and she may want a fancy bra and/or panties. I get that. And, I don't really have a problem with the general idea of making pretty panties for little girls. However, the ad photos seriously cross the line!

I am sort of glad that Billy is a boy, because I have a little more time (hopefully) to figure out how to address this early sexualization of little girls with my own daughters. I think we have been pushing the line for so long, with shows like Hannah Montana and iCarly. The shows themselves are fine, and while they don't contain any swearing or sex, they have many storylines about boys - kissing boys, liking boys, trying to get the attention of a particular boy. That's fine for girls that are the same age as the main characters, junior high or middle school age. But, I never really thought that they were appropriate viewing for 5, 6, 7, 8 year old girls, yet these girls make up much of the fan base. Whatever happened to shopping at Claire's and watching cartoons? I don't think we had any of these shows, except for Clarissa Explains It All and Swans Crossing (a kiddie soap opera). Maybe I just wasn't into those shows, or I wasn't allowed to watch them.

What do you think about "loungerie?" How about the increased sexualization of women and girls earlier and earlier? For my followers with daughters, how did you talk about this, or how do you plan to do so?

Episode 11: Eat, Pap, EAT! - Part 4 - Final Installment!

So, here it is, the conclusion to our saga. Enjoy!

Episode 10: Eat, Papa, EAT! - Part 3

*I am a terrible blogger. Here is Part 3, much delayed.*

We got an appointment to see Dr. Wood – the head of the pediatric allergy division at Johns Hopkins. Well, that at least made me feel better. I mean, that’s the guy you want to see. Our appointment was on February 1.

Episode 9: Eat, Papa, EAT! - Part 2

Finally, on November 30, we went to KKI for the first time. We met with several experts at the same time: a nurse practitioner, a nutritionist, a behavioral therapist, and a speech and occupational therapist. We provided a detailed history, and then it was time to watch LM eat! We brought several of his favorite foods, and some puree as well. LM did his thing, chewing and spitting like there was no tomorrow. Both the behavioral and speech therapists were surprised that LM was so excited to eat, but just wasn’t swallowing. After his meal, the team met with one another to discuss their findings before giving us their recommendations. When the team came back, they were baffled that LM was so interested in eating. They had expected him to present more like some autistic children who do not want anything near or in their mouths, so they were surprised that he was so excited to eat and chew, but just didn’t swallow. The team wanted LM to have an upper endoscopy done to be sure that there were no obstructions before KKI started a treatment program. They didn’t want to be forcing food down his throat if it would hurt him. They said that they usually try an Upper GI first, but that it might be difficult to get him to swallow the barium solution because he never took a bottle, and wasn’t doing very well with the sippy cup at the time, either. We were referred to the gastroenterologist. The KKI team also advised that we start working on giving LM puree on a spoon, as that would be how they would start treatment. They suggested that we try giving him foods he liked on a spoon, to get him used to the spoon before trying purees again. 

Episode 8: Eat, Papa, EAT!! - Part 1

So, the Little Man has been, generally, a very easy baby (knock wood that that continues). He sleeps great, he doesn’t fuss a lot, he naps great (now), and he is really very happy. But we have had one problem – food. While this has caused me much distress, I have to believe that there’s a reason this happened to me. Maybe I am destined to help someone else going through something similar, or maybe every kid has something that drives their parents crazy. Either way, I have decided it’s time to try to write down our food journey up to now. That way, I can remember what happened if I need to again, and also so that I can share this with any other readers or parents who are going through something like we did, well, are. This is the first in a long series of posts about my son’s eating difficulties. They have been going on for a little over a year now, and I feel like things are finally being resolved. I hope that you all aren’t too bored by my story, and I hope that if you are going through something similar, that this gives you some help and hope.

Episode 7: Requiem for a Cosplayer

So, I have realized that this year's Otakon is imminent. For those of you who don't know what Otakon is, it is a convention celebrating Japanese animation, video games, and Japanese and Asian culture in general. I have been attending Otakon (thanks to the recommendation of my best friend, Lilaenne) off and on for about nine years, and it is more fun every year! There are a lot of video rooms playing anime series and live-action movies, there are informational and discussion panels run by both fans and industry experts, there are appearances and autograph signings by celebrities from the anime/manga world, there is a rave (crazy techno dance-thing that I've never gone to), there's a video game room, and, of course, shopping!!

One other important aspect of Otakon, for many people, is cosplaying. Cosplay is a made-up word combining costume and play, and for most folks basically means dressing up in costume. Technically, I believe cosplay is when one dresses as a character and pretends to be that character all day, interacting with everyone as the character she is dressed as. But, I find that most people just dress up and act like themselves (unless someone takes a picture, at which point, you must strike a character-appropriate pose). I have done several cosplays in my time, and cosplaying used to be an integral part of the convention for me every year. However, with the arrival of the little man, I seem to have less time and money for cosplaying than I used to. I really miss it! I miss the planning and the excitement of starting a project. I miss the strategizing sessions - "well, I could use this for that piece, I could buy those, and I could cut this pattern here and here to make that other part."

Nowadays, I just settle for wearing my counter-culture T-shirts and crazy hairpieces at Otakon. I'd like to get something cute for the little man to wear, but I can't seem to find many video game or anime inspired shirts for babes and toddlers. At least, not anything affordable. Even Etsy failed me here, with a few shirts running close to $30 (gasp!). I never see any at Otakon, and I always wonder why. It's definitely a business with a potential for growth, since your customers are going to outgrow their purchases, seemingly within minutes! I should start my own business. Maybe in time for next year....

In the meantime, I have to think about what to do. I think I'm going to get some plain onesies or t-shirts and do some cross stitch pixelated characters. Again, I'm stealing from Lilaenne, whose husband is making some cross stitched pieces for the Art Auction this year. Now, I just have to remember how to work with waste canvas. I remember how to put the stuff on the shirt, but I think there was another step to seal the back of the work so the shirt could be washed. Was it iron-on interfacing?

I really miss costuming, not just for Otakon, but also our great Halloween costumes. It seems that the days of making awesome Janice and Dr. Teeth, Melissa and Coach McGuirk costumes are gone. I also don't have the time or money for the next Renn Faire costume I was planning - some sort of gypsy thing that wouldn't be so cotton-picking HOT all day. Plus, it's really hard to find costumes appropriate for a group of 3 people. I guess we'll have to have another baby, so we can unlock the world of 4-person groups.

Anyone out there that was a big costumer before having children? Did you keep it up after the baby was born? Did it take some time to get back into costuming? How did you find the time (and the money)?  What do you all think about baby and/or maternity video game or anime shirts?

Episode 6: Sicko!!

I have a cold. It stinks.
 
I am bad at being sick. I get sick like people say men get sick. I'm not one of these people who sits quietly and shrugs off symptoms, or powers through and pretends they feel fine. I whine. I don't want to do ANYthing. I want to lay on the couch and watch Law & Order. I want my husband (or mom, when I was younger) to bring me drinks and food, so I only need to expend energy to go to the bathroom or swallow more meds. I hate being sick, and I vocalize this feeling often.

One of the best things about my last job was that I had tons of paid vacation and personal days. How do you take care of a baby and a home when you're sick? It's one of the advantages that working moms have over us stay-at-home types. If a working mom is sick, she takes the day off, sends the baby to daycare as usual, and gets a day of rest and relaxation at home. I kind of wish I could do that. I've already had to apologize to my husband because the house is going to be kind of a mess until I feel better. I've sacrificed my usual cleaning time (see also: baby's nap) to take a nap myself. I am totally unmotivated to go to the store - I don't want to leave the house myself, much less wrestle a baby into the carseat (someone has started asserting his independence - welcome to 2!). I am unmotivated to cook dinner, because I don't even really want to eat anything because I feel cruddy.

Luckily, I have maybe the best baby ever! He likes to play by himself with his trains, and will generally give me several stretches during the day where I can just sit and relax.Any other stay-at-home-moms with tips for how to deal with your duties while sick?

Also, I didn't forget about my blog! I'm working on a giant post chronicling the little man's adventures with eating. It will be several posts long. I hope it helps someone else who is going through something similar.