So, everyone who knows me knows that I am a pretty girly girl. I love shopping, I luurve pink, and have a (fairly) extensive collection of shoes. So it may be no surprise that when I was pregnant I was hoping to have a girl. Somehow I sort of knew it would be a boy even before we got the ultrasound. Partly because of our strange family history with firstborn genders, but also some sort of weird feeling.
When I first found out that Billy was a boy, I was pretty disappointed. Now I know as a mother, I should just be grateful that he was healthy. And for the most part, I was happy that there were no defects we could detect at that point, but a part of me grieved a bit for the girl I wasn't going to have. Mostly, I think I grieved for myself and the fact that, with a son, I would be unable to (or at least made a social pariah if I did) buy any of the adorable pink items available for babies. No pink stroller, no pink high chair, pack-n-play, nursery, diaper bag, no adorable dresses and ruffly diaper covers. Not to mention the shoes!! And even now, I miss not being able to buy the cute, pink, frilly dresses available for girls.
It also seems that there are far more options for girls clothes than for boys. There are aisles and aisles of girls' clothes in Babies 'R' Us, or even Target, with only one or two aisles of boys' clothes. Not to mention the fact that I am, generally speaking, not a big fan of clothes that say things. I don't like baby or kid clothes that say "I'm the Boss!" or "MVP" or even the girl versions "Here Comes Trouble" and "I'm the Cutest!" I don't like the idea that people are characterizing their children as troublemakers before their attitudes even become apparent. I also hate the idea that the parents all kowtow to their children forever, I wasn't the boss when I was a kid, and I certainly don't intend for my children to wield unquestioned power in our household. And the girls versions over-emphasize cuteness, starting a lifelong complex that a girl's most important asset is her looks. Also, I still don't quite understand why all of the clothes are Daddy/Daughter or Mommy/Son themed. Can't fathers love their sons? Can't mothers love their daughters? What about little girls whose mothers are single parents? Can't those girls be Mommy's Little Princess?
It also seems as though there are lots more options for girls' clothes that do not have these sayings on them. Lots of girls tops and dresses are just colors, or patterns. It's harder to find boys' clothes like that. For example, if you go to the Carter's website, and click on "Tops" under girls' clothes, there is a category right on the first page for "fashion tops." Boys do have a "polo & shirt" category, but 4 of the 6 polo shirts say something on them, and all of the shirts are plaid. What, is my son 65 already? This problem is what has started my love affair with Old Navy for boys' clothes. ON has tons of baby and toddler boys' clothes that look like adult clothes, just tiny!
But, today, I was reminded of why I should be glad that my first child is a boy. On the Today Show this morning, was a story about a French company that has started selling "loungerie" - lingerie for girls aged 4-12!! (You can see the story here) I was amazed at the photos that were taken to advertise the products. They are truly inappropriate. I can understand that for a girl closer to 12, she may be developing, and she may want a fancy bra and/or panties. I get that. And, I don't really have a problem with the general idea of making pretty panties for little girls. However, the ad photos seriously cross the line!
I am sort of glad that Billy is a boy, because I have a little more time (hopefully) to figure out how to address this early sexualization of little girls with my own daughters. I think we have been pushing the line for so long, with shows like Hannah Montana and iCarly. The shows themselves are fine, and while they don't contain any swearing or sex, they have many storylines about boys - kissing boys, liking boys, trying to get the attention of a particular boy. That's fine for girls that are the same age as the main characters, junior high or middle school age. But, I never really thought that they were appropriate viewing for 5, 6, 7, 8 year old girls, yet these girls make up much of the fan base. Whatever happened to shopping at Claire's and watching cartoons? I don't think we had any of these shows, except for Clarissa Explains It All and Swans Crossing (a kiddie soap opera). Maybe I just wasn't into those shows, or I wasn't allowed to watch them.
What do you think about "loungerie?" How about the increased sexualization of women and girls earlier and earlier? For my followers with daughters, how did you talk about this, or how do you plan to do so?
