Episode 14: Kicking it into {Gender} Neutral

So, I'm a knitter, and I'm on this amazing knitting website, Ravelry. One of the greatest things about Ravelry is that you can join groups based on your interests. Some groups are more fun than others, and some more active. Well, when I got pregnant, I joined two pregnancy groups on Rav, and I still like to browse the message board of the more active of the two groups. People often have questions about must-have baby items, or stuff you can do without, (and you know I have opinions) or just funny stories. Also important to note is that many knitters are what I call "crunchy." My definition of crunchy includes folks that are a little bit hippies, into (as far as children/babies go) cloth diapering, organic and fair trade clothes, breastfeeding, and (what I think is) a new trend in gender neutrality.

Wikipedia defines gender neutrality in terms of language only. Most of the moms or expecting moms on Ravelry are at different places in the spectrum of gender neutrality for their children. And I totally agree with it on some level. I don't believe that I should force my child to play with "traditional" boy or girl toys. If the Little Man really wanted a baby doll or princess tea set, I wouldn't care. I would get him those toys for Christmas or birthday if that's what he wanted. Now, LM happens to be completely obsessed with trucks and trains at the current time, so that's what he's getting.

But, I think that some people are sabotaging themselves in their quest to raise balanced children. I have seen people saying that play kitchens are girl toys, which I don't agree with (although it is really hard to find a play kitchen that isn't pink). Trucks and cars are boy toys, which I don't get, I mean grown-up women drive trucks and cars, so why aren't they neutral toys? Plus, I am not the kind of person who takes my time to rail against what "society" thinks or says about things. If I think it's a neutral toy, then that's fine. I don't feel the need to complain on the internet (except, apparently, within the confines of this blog) about "Why don't people understand that I don't want my child to have X, Y, or Z?"

I actually saw the following quote on one of the message boards - "Even the really excellent spatial relations toys, like legos, seem to not want the girls to play unless they’re playing lego hair salon." Now, first off, I must be shopping in the wrong stores because I don't remember ever seeing a Lego hair salon set. Secondly, what exactly is is that makes Legos not acceptable for girls to play? Is it that they are red, yellow, blue, and white? Is it that the included patterns have a truck and a ship (they also include a house, you know)? If those are your reasons, then aren't you contradicting yourself? This was the same poster who complained in another post about girls not thinking they can play with toys that aren't pink. Well, if you want your daughter to play with non-pink toys, then why are you complaining that the non-pink Legos are not appropriate for girls?!

How do you all feel about gender neutrality for children? For those with kiddos, did your thoughts/plans/opinions about this topic change after you had your kids? Are most other parents as laid-back about it as me, or are there more people out there than I think that are really passionate about this subject?